“Lawnmower Man”

I hate mowing the lawn. Our lawnmower is a piece of shit. None of the grass it cuts goes into the basket; instead it builds up inside the mower until it stops the blades. I’m beginning to suspect it isn’t really a lawnmower at all. There’ll be a small message somewhere on the box: Note – Not For Use On Real Grass. In the end I have to stop every twenty seconds, turn it on its side and scrape all the grass out by hand. After an hour and a half of this, I finally get to the end – which means it’s usually time to get out the rake and collect the other three quarters of the cut grass that lies scattered on the lawn.
Of course I tell my parents how bad it is, but all they say is stop moaning, it never happens to them, and to empty the basket more often. HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT? The basket’s empty! The grass is all stuck inside the mower!
No more. After struggling with that mechanical monstrosity for only an hour today, I’d had enough, and I’ve just left it for someone else to do. I refuse to have anything to do with that machine.


3 thoughts on ““Lawnmower Man”

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