So I’m managing to keep near enough on track with the wordcount, but I’m still not entirely happy. The thing is, I never have any idea what to do next when I’m writing. I can’t plan – I’m completely incapable of planning, especially not getting everything that happens sorted first – partially because I need to know what the writing feels like, if that makes any sense. So I blunder through the first chapter thinking it’s not great but has its moments, but then I get stuck – where do I go next? I have a scene or two pictured, but how do I get my char from where he is now to where he should be? In the end I force myself to put out whatever crap comes out of my head – and the thing is, I get it right. I actually manage to find the thing that fits into the plot well. But that’s not the problem. The problem is that the writing, apart from the occasional moment of inspiration (I usually breeze through the internal, emotionally intense bits), is the biggest steaming pile of shit I’ve ever written. I mean, there’s no life to it, it’s just ‘he does this’ ‘he does that’ ‘he feels nervous’… All sign of my main character is missing from the action bits, and the character I want to show is in the very few emotional bits. I can’t seem to fit him into the prose.
I’m starting to think that this is my plan – this is my story outline, and I’m not ready to write the real story until this is complete. I feel like if I go back at the end and completely rewrite every scene, I’d be able to do it because I’d know then where my story was going. Trust me to find I can only work the long way round. It’s not a good thought, because the poor quality of my writing so far is really making me feel bad about it. I’m not comfortable leaving this crap on paper (screen).


5 thoughts on “Difficulties

  1. I always find it embarrasing when I’ve posted something like this and then I go back and look at my work. I’m definately unsatisfied, and I didn’t reread the part I was especially displeased with, but the bits I did read weren’t entirely as terrible as I had thought – not great, but still tolerable. Well, I suppose that’s always the way of things.

  2. It’s probably not as bad as what you think. ;-)

    Hang in there. If it still strikes you as being more like an outline than a story after you are done, you can always go back and add to it to fill it out. :-D

    And I think you are twice as far along word count wise than I am. I’d better get typing tonight when I get home!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s